Brain development – Make the connection

Originally featured in and available for download in issue 14 of OHbaby! magazine, Winter 2011

I’ve got some shocking news about your baby.  

Her brain is more active than yours.  Your habits are likely to impact her for a lifetime.  And she needs your love & nurture way more than she needs clothes, toys, or a learn-to-read programme.

When we think about early brain development, or even our own brain function, people often think about school success, high test scores or university scholarships.  We hear “brain” and we think “brainy”.  

A more helpful framework for thinking about brain development is to acknowledge that our brains control our everything: yes, our ability to do well at school, but also our ability to return a serve in tennis, to sing in tune, or to make friends - it’s our brains that enable us to read and respond to the facial cues of other people.  

Our brains decide whether to marry that guy, to overtake that car, to have that extra glass of wine.  It is our brains that remember the punch lines to jokes, put the dishes away without breaking anything, and keep us calm (or not) when we get up to our teething baby for the third time that night.  

Dig?  So when we think about brain development, we are thinking about the whole of a person.  The three-dimensional, marvelous mess of humanity.  

What’s more, we know that our cognitive ability - that is: our ability to think logically, to do well in exams - largely rests upon our social and emotional development.  And all this depends upon the sort of nurture we have received early in our life story. 

How do we know all this?  Well, the 1990’s gave us a lot more than just MC Hammer pants and our first female Prime Minister.  It was during the ‘90s that brain-imaging technologies evolved, so we could peer inside the skulls of living beings.  A U.S. presidential proclamation declared the ‘90s “the decade of the brain”.

We learned more about brain function and development in those few years than we had learned in the previous few centuries.  The lessons for those of us interested in child development have been illuminating and affirming.

Now we know that the human brain develops in a unique way, unlike any of our other organs.  It is not fully formed at birth, like its compatriots the heart or liver, but instead does the majority of its growing in the early years of a person’s life.  

What’s even more amazing is the way that this growth will create a brain that’s tailor made for the context that Baby finds herself in.  Urban, rural? Kiwi accented, multi lingual?  Desert or snow?  Warm, rich relationships or cold, dry aggression?  Whatever the circumstances, the scientific miracle of human development wires a brain that is responsive to the early environment – and the quality of the early relationships - in which it grows.  

“Humans are inherently social: we develop in the context of relationships” says University of Canterbury lecturer and Brainwave Trustee Nathan Mikaere-Wallis, “Specifically, brains develop in the context of relationships.  So you could think of our brains as social organs.”  

The growth of these social brains can be measured with head circumference, or weight.  At birth, a baby’s brain weighs around 350g.  By her first birthday, that has doubled.  And by the time she heads off to school, her brain will weigh 90% of its eventual adult weight.  

In a post neuro-imagery world we can also witness how brains grow on a cellular level.  This cellular artistry offers an explanation for the power of early experiences and early relationships for shaping that responsive brain.  

Says Mikaere-Wallis: “It’s been described as love becoming flesh”.  

During infancy and toddlerhood, our brains are a hive of electrical energy.  When an infant has an experience for the first time, it causes an electrical spark inside a brain cell (neuron), commanding the neuron to connect with another neuron.  At birth our brains have completed about 15% of these connections, with the earliest years’ experiences sparking the creation of the other 85%.

The experience may be “Being cradled lovingly in Dad’s arms and watching his eyes crinkle when he smiles at me.”  The learning here might be something as simple - yet profound - as “there are people who care about me” or “it feels good to give and receive love”.  

The next time the infant has that same experience, the electrical current passes more easily between those cells because there is an existing pathway (synapse, or synaptic connection).  

This is another way that brain development is unique: the cells communicate without touching, instead communicating via that synaptic connection that lies between them.  

Think of a synapse as your drive home when you’ve moved house: the first time you figure it out it might take a while, but as time passes, you can drive the route speedily, and on auto pilot.

In our brains, this feeling of auto pilot happens when we practice something so many times that the cells involved in that learning formalise their synaptic connections by wrapping them securely in a fatty substance known as myelin. 

Once a synapse is fully myelinated, the electrical currents involved in the learning can travel 250x faster, hence the auto pilot.

You might recognise the feeling - remember learning to drive?   When you first had your learner’s license it was probably an exercise in concentration to avoid bunny-hopping as you deliberately thought: “clutch in, over & up to first gear, clutch slowly off now and accelerate gently ... sweet ... OK, second gear ...”.  

These days, you can probably change gears without really thinking about it.  The difference is in the myelin.  Myelin supports those synapses because your brain recognised that this was an experience you’d repeated enough to expect that you would be repeating it again in the future.

Or, as they say: neurons that fire together, wire together.

So we would want to be equally deliberate about the sort of experiences that our babies have early in their lives.  Are the hands that hold Baby gentle or rough?  Are the voices patient or harsh?  Are the faces surrounding Baby warm or angry?  Is Baby responded to, or ignored?  

In these early relationships and experiences, we are setting children’s auto-pilots.

Consider this: we’re born with more neurons than we need: between 100 and 200 billion at birth.  And all of us naturally lose about 40% of the brain cells we’re born with when we reach around age three. 

Which do we keep? We will keep the neurons that we use most often.  We will keep the cells that are involved in well myelinated pathways.  So the learning that happens in our earliest years has implications across the lifespan.  

That is to say, we will hardwire the experiences that we have most frequently early in our lives.  

Imagine the networks of the brain like a grapevine, and the three year old loss of neurons like an approaching winter.  The process of pruning away the weaker connections (ie, experiences we’ve had less frequently) will strengthen the connections that remain (ie, the experiences we have often).

This is not to say that change is not possible – we are always capable of forming new connections and creating new habits of mind.  But if we think of building a brain like building a house, it will be simplest and most cost-effective to get the foundations right the first time.  Same’s true with Baby.  The foundational learning (e.g., “It feels good to give and receive love”) is much more efficiently learned early in life.  We might be able to go back and alter the foundations later, but it will be hard work, and the building runs the risk of collapse in the meantime.  

So while change is always possible, it’s also true that early experiences matter, and that it’s the consistency of early experiences that wires the synapses.  Our brains are wiring for a lifetime of whatever is normal during those earliest months & years.  

Remember: it’s not as though Baby’s brain can differentiate between ‘good’ experiences and ‘bad’ ones.  Unfortunately, connections aren’t myelinated according to a criteria of “this will serve me well in the future, I’ll keep it” or “this is an unhelpful pattern of behaviour, I will prune this”.  

Instead, we keep the connections that are involved in the experiences we have most often, whether that’s an awareness of the give-and-take of conversation (that’s what mimicking those infant coos is all about) or having experienced a world where violence and intimidation are successful strategies for getting needs met.  

This increased understanding of early brain development is a powerful motivator for working toward a world where all babies are safe and loved.  In the words of Lou Cozolino, a brain researcher from the USA, “those who are nurtured most, survive the best.”

When we consider the crucial role of nurture for building healthy brains, it is interesting to do so within the New Zealand context, where we parent our young in a culture that has historically urged us to “harden up”, a culture that perhaps still prizes self-sufficiency and stoicism more than warmth or weepiness.

The biological realities for us and our babies is that we cannot get to healthy emotional control without passing through softness and nurture.  Think of our mighty rugby players keeping calm and rational even amidst intense expectations and heightened stress responses.  Being able to do this requires a mastery of one’s biology that is best achieved by being sensitively cared for early in life.

That ability to calm oneself down is known as “self-regulation”, and it’s a field of human development that has a lot of experts talking.  

The thoroughly unscientific way that I describe self-regulation is the ability to get yourself back into balance when you’re out of whack.  Out of whack might mean “I’m hungry”, it could be “I’m angry”, even “I need to go to the bathroom!”

Self-regulation is what happens when we have strategies to manage our own inevitable stormclouds of disregulation (out-of-whack-ness).   “I’m hungry - I’ve snacked, now I’m better.”  Or it can be “I’m angry - I’ll breathe deeply, now I’m better”.  Or even: “I need to poop! - OK, I did that, now I’m better”.  

It takes humans decades to learn how to self regulate, and some of us haven’t mastered it even as we approach our senior years.  So how do we learn this vital skill? 

Renowned Canadian researcher, teacher and philosopher Stuart Shanker summarises: “It’s by being regulated that the child develops the capacity to self regulate at the biological level”.

Being regulated - this is what the fortunate children of attuned parents have happen to them over and over on any given day.  When we feed a hungry infant, when we soothe an upset baby, or make him comfortable with a clean, dry nappy, we not only foster healthy brain development, but we provide our services as an external regulator.  That is to say, we support them to feel better whenever they are out of whack.  

Over time, little by little, our children gradually assume more and more responsibility for managing their own regulation.  They become self-regulated. 

So contrary to what the “harden-up” school of parenting would have us believe, responding to a baby’s cries is not spoiling him, it’s not (heaven forbid!) teaching him to be soft.  It is, in fact, supporting the biological processes that will mean he can keep his head and kick the winning conversion in the Rugby World Cup of 2031, for example.  No pressure!  

In order to be able to provide the sort of care that supports these essential processes, parents are well served to consider the three key concepts as identified by international relationship expert and founder of the Centre For Attachment, Lauren Porter.  She summarizes that what babies need most is: “Proximity.  Sensitivity.  And responsiveness”.  

To expand: proximity means, we first need to be near to our babies - close enough to hear their cries and observe their physicality.  

Next, we need to be sensitive enough to recognise what their vocalization or body movements tell us.  Is this baby hungry?  Tired?  Uncomfortable?  And the final point is key: we must then be responsive.  This means we take our cue from Baby and provide him with what he needs.  Hungry baby?  Feed him!  Tired baby?  Time for a sleep!  

When children are cared for in this way, a remarkable thing happens.  These are the parenting behaviours that support a secure attachment relationship, but they are the same practices that will support Baby’s slowly-emerging ability to self-regulate, and foster optimal brain growth.  

It’s like a three for the price of one deal.  

So whether our motivation is a settled baby, a loving relationship or a future full of juicy brain power & calm self-regulation, providing proximity, sensitivity and responsiveness (as often as we are able!) is a strategy for success.    Ideas for Sidebar:

…Being with Baby … Time Together … Yum-O…

Pay Close Attention

Everything starts with observation.  When you’re holding Baby in your arms, watch closely.  Gaze into your Baby’s eyes and just relax.  Now … watch!

How does your baby communicate?  

How does she use her voice or cries to tell you how he’s feeling? 
How does he move his body when he’s settled?  What about when she’s not?
Does he squirm his face into your clothes when he’s tired, or does she holler? Does he turn his head away from you when he’s had enough? 
How does she seem to like being held?  

There are no right or wrong answers to any of those questions … the point is that each baby is different, and it can take some time to get to know what those different cries mean.

So be kind to yourself even as you’re kind to this baby … try saying out loud “I love watching you and getting to know you.  I don’t quite have everything all figured out yet, but I want to help.  I am watching and I am learning!”

Your baby will appreciate the calm of your voice, the warmth of your body and the full, focused attention of your gaze.  You might feel silly at first, talking out loud like that, but you are giving yourself permission to be a learner, as well as powerful messages about the value of taking time to observe.

Do What I Do, Say What I Say

From the time Baby is just a day or two old, she will imitate your facial expressions.  Make a big wide mouth … and wait.  Try poking out your tongue … and wait.  She’ll copy you!  

Also take the time to imitate her facial expressions or body movements. Provide words for what you’re doing “Baby, you made your hand pat your leg.  Pat, pat, pat!  I can do it too! Pat, pat, pat.”

The rewards come in earnest from about six weeks old, when Baby learns to smile – copying you - and your parental sun comes out!

The game extends as Baby begins to chat.  By the time she’s about 12 weeks old she’ll be cooing gently, and will appreciate it when you hold her warmly in your arms and copy her sounds.  It’s also about now that she will probably start to fill in the gaps of conversation – so leave her lots of time & space to “reply” when you talk to her.

“Ata marie!  Good morning my darling!”  (WAIT!  Wait … wait some more …)

“Did you have a lovely sleep?”  (allow a big enough pause, she’ll vocalize)

“You did? Great!  Shall we open the curtains?”  (wait … wait … be patient …)

Self Talk/Parallel Talk

While we’re on the subject of talking, here are a couple of excellent strategies to keep the language flowing. Immersing children in conversation is a great idea. The number of words that are spoken directly to children before they’re three predicts things like IQ scores and school success. 

How to get started?  Well, Self Talk is the name that theorists give to our chat when we’re describing what it is that we’re doing.  “Ok, I need to hang this load of washing.  I’ll find my basket and put all the wet clothes in here …”  Lie down on the floor next to Baby and describe what you can see. 

Parallel Talk is what we do when we’re describing the things that Baby is doing: “You’re having a big drink of milk, eh love?”  or “You are stretching your legs so far that you’ve moved all the way off your blanket!”  

In this way, children learn to break the code of spoken language.  They come to associate the things that they (or Dad, or Mum) are doing with the words and sounds that accompany them.  This strategy is simple, but the learning is complex.  

Reminiscing About the Day

From the time Baby is small, it can be a good idea to incorporate a daily reflection into the night time routine.  During the evening bath, massage and feed, at a time that makes sense to you, try adding some reminiscing to your chat.  

“I had a lovely day with you today, Baby!  Let’s think about what we did.  We fed the ducks, didn’t we?  And that great big duck came so close to your stroller, remember?  Poppa came over for lunch, and he had his woolly hat on.  I wonder what adventures we will have tomorrow!”

Not only does this habit support all sorts of intricate processes involved in recall of experiences, but it provides clues into the inner world of your toddler as she gains language and shares her daily highlights.  It’s also a lovely ritual to share as your Baby becomes a massive school-ager. 

Hold Me Close – Rock Me Baby

Loving touch provides astonishing benefits for our babies. Wrapping Baby securely in loving arms is one of the best things we can do to nurture the foundation of his brain development.  

If you haven’t experimented with babywearing (e.g., slings), give it a go.  There are documented benefits.  Similarly, never underestimate the value of letting Baby hang out or sleep on your chest – skin to skin if it’s warm enough.  Your comforting smell, your reassuring heartbeat – all of this has profound benefits.  The dishes can wait!  

Another deceptively simple but profound practice is that of rocking our infants: the gentle sway of a warm, safe body provides a metronome of calm for Baby.  Celebrated neuroscientist Bruce Perry recognizes this as being one of the key experiences in wiring a brain capable of optimal growth.

Sing to Me!

All over the world, for millennia, humans have sung to their offspring.  There are many reasons for doing so – it supports development of language, it soothes agitation, and it boosts learning-enhancing hormones in the brain, like endorphins.

If you can’t remember many kid’s songs, check out a couple of CDs from the library and see which you (and Baby!) like best.  Traditional nursery rhymes exist for great reason.  And there are a host of other fab ways to experience kid’s music: New Zealand’s own Julie Wylie is an internationally recognised expert at creating music that’s perfect for children, and artists like Dan Zanes, Elizabeth Mitchell, and the Baby Dub or Putamayo world music collections make kid’s music that’s as groovy as a café soundtrack.

Guess what else … your baby will benefit from anything that you sing!  Make up songs.  Sing the Beatles.  Change the lyrics to any song you like and turn it into anything you want!  Don’t be shy – if you can talk, you can sing.